129 Thoughts I had during the Season 7 Premiere of Vampire Diaries

1. Aww… Caroline is writing in her diary just like Elena.
2. We miss Elena!
3. Caroline looks great!
4. Stefan is so hot….
5. Ugh….I don’t like them.
6. No Steroline…ABANDON SHIP!
7. Please stop flirting….
8. I don’t like this….
9. Who is this girl writing in HER diary? Is that like the new thing?
10. Ohhhh she must be a heretic.
11. I’m already annoyed.
12. And… she just got hit by a car.
13. And… she woke up.
14. Ok, Vampire Diaries…I see you
15. Ugh these heretics are already getting on my nerves.
16. They are evil.
17. Awwww Rick and Damon the odd couple!
18. Ooo Bonnie’s hair looks great.
19. They are all drunk..go home.
20. There is some serious depression at this table.
21. Dead Girlfriends Anonymous club.
22. Ugh Lily…worst mom of the year.
23. Are all the heretics British? When did that happen?
24. Her name is Mary Louise? Good Grief.
25. This is like Mean Girls version of the Heretics meets Charmed…I miss that show.
26. I cant with Lily’s facial expressions.
27. Cue Amy Winehouse…except I don’t think I want this Valerie to ever come over
28. And Valerie is a coldhearted bitch …..
29. I mean…they DID leave her for dead.
30. Okay… these heretics are kinda legit.
31. Can we call them witch vamps? That sounds better.
32. Did she just take a selife? That’s cold hearted…..
33. Okay Vampire Diaries, this is gross.
34. Let’s hope Matt has a purpose this season.
35. Stefan is now making bombs….
36. I love Alaric, Bonnie and Damon together!
37. Alaric is over everything.
38. Alaric and The Sorcerers Stone!
39. Okay but seriously who is that….Professor Quirrell? Okay no more Harry Potter…
40. Whoa Alaric. Whoa…
41. Ooooo he said What?! Alaric don’t go see a psychic… deal with your pain in another way.
42. Lily and Enzo have a weird oedipus complex type of relationship…its gross.
43. It IS the hunt for the Socerers stone!
44. Lily is so shady…
45. Does Enzo have a purpose this season too?
46. What the heck happened ot Sarah Salvatore? Did they just forget they never saw that through. Did they think we would forget?
47. We will never forget Julie Plec….never forget
48. I’m so not feeling the Stefan and Caroline thing…or whatever it is.
49. I love them individually…collectively….I just don’t know.
50. Ugh. Gross. Stop making eyes at each other.
51. Of course send the poor human to plant the Bomb. Poor Matt. Isn’t he tired of doing everyones bidding?
52. Ummmm Caroline get OUT OF THERE!!
53. Ka-Boom! Bye-bye Heretics….well probably not.
54. Oh no he was NOT considering KILLING HER.
55. Ouch Damon.
56. Does this mean no Bamon?!!
57. We want Bamon to happen.
58. That’s right Bonnie! You tell him!
59. Ew. Don’t call him your son, Lily.
60. Uh oh…the heretics are coming for you Stef
61. Awww Matty is a cop! Congrats!
62. Yup the heretics are alive.
63. Okay Plan B?
64. What is this weird relationship these girls have?
65. Ohhhhh their lesbians!!!!!
66. AWWW THAT’S SO CUTE!
67. But I hate them….they are evil.
68. Oh no… is Matt in trouble?
69. Aww I miss MATT and Caroline! They were actually a cute couple.
70. Wait that’s the best they could do? Sprinklers?
71. Oh and Fire… that certainly heats things up..(ba-da- ching!)
72. Okay Matt you’re a cop now do something.
73. Okay this got bloody RULLLLL quick.
74. Oh here they go with that aneurysm thing.
75. Stefan fight!
76. OH NOW YOU WANT TO BE A MOTHER LILY? Get out of here.
77. Uh oh Mama Lily is mad..
78. Seriously you have no right to make any rules woman.
79. Aww Caroline is being Caroline!
80. Ugh….we don’t need another moment!
81. Maybe I just need to accept this may happen (No I’m not gonna give up lol)
82. I love that they are all journaling to Elena so she can read years of journals when she wakes up!.
83. I think I love that….do i? Do you? That’s like a lifetime of journals…LITERALLY haha!
84. Awww they have a plan! So now Mystic falls is empty and full of crazy people… Great.
85. Interesting turn of events…..lets see how this goes.
86. Aww Remember when Caroline and Enzo could have been a thing.
87. Why is Enzo still here?
88. When are the three musketeers getting back from Europe? Stefan clearly can’t hold the fort on his own.
89. Stefan don’t lie to your brother.
90. Classic Damon entrance!
91. Oh Damon, we missed your snarky remarks.
92. Ouch Damon.
93. Well…Stefan….Elena’s forgiven Damon for all the other horrible things he’s done so what’s a few more?
94. Ooooo might Matt and Bonnie get together? THAT would be interesting! Let’s change it up people.
95. Matt HAS to be over this life. He has too! I’m over it for him.
96. This town looks a hott mess.
97. Damon go to AA.
98. Awww Damon and Bonnie are gonna be roommates!
99. Awwww He called her his best friend!
100. We love Bonnie and Damon!
101. We miss Kai…
102. Poor homeless man!
103. Bonnie isn’t happy….
104. Ha! Town witch…she just got home 5 minutes ago.
103. Damon to the rescue….We miss him ripping out peoples hearts.
104. I don’t even have anything to say…I don’t want Steroline to be a thing lol Sorry Steroline Shippers!
105. Gross. “You make me happy”. Come ON!
106. Please don’t kiss.
107. Please GOD don’t kiss.
108. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
109. Welp…that’s that.
110. What is Alaric up to?
111. He’s keeping Jo cold?
112. He hasn’t buried her….
113. Oh snap!
114. Ha yeah he’s not joking…. he’s gonna try to bring her back to life.
115. Can these heretics please go away?
116. Uh oh …Damon started a war.
117. Lily Shut up.
118. LILY. SHUT. UP.
119. Uh oh…….. Let the war begin!
120. Seriously…why is Enzo still here?
121. What! Enzo…you traitor.
122. Wait …..THREE YEARS FROM NOW?!!
123. WHAT’S WITH ALL THESE TIME JUMPS?!!!
124. I can’t deal with this….
125. I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS.
126. Who is back?!
127. Who is this?!!
128. Vampire Diaries…. no!!!!!!!!!!!
129. I’M DONE.
Malynda Hale
Singer/Songwriter/Actress/Host
www.malyndahale.com